I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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