Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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