that's an acceptable place to lick
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize