So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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