I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
