I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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