ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
they need to just BURY HIM!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize