trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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