We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
