Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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