evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
