Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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