bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
