i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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