Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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