i don't like sucking hair
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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