I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
