Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
