Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
