I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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