I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
wow bdsm is so cute
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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