I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
