never play flip cup with pint glasses
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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