it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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