so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
