Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
