well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
