how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My ATM looks so different sober.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize