I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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