How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize