OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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