: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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