Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
