who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
