I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize