my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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