What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
