Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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