She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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