you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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