I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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