fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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