Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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