I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
