I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
