I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
