So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The uberlube is also flammable
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
