I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
