I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
