she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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