Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
