I don't usually arrange sex via text message
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
