let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
