she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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