She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
