My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
