i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
