This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
