next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
