Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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