there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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