the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
