told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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